Life

MARRIAGE GOALS.

Marriage. It is a TRIP, isn’t it? I am so incredibly lucky to have this man by my side, every day. But some days, it’s really hard too. People often tell me “oh my gosh, you and Chris are#marriagegoals!” “you guys are so perfect!” etc etc etc. - but I promise, there is so much more to the perfect IG photos and captions. We are not perfect, not in any way shape or form. We have been through a lot. I don’t tell our story often, because it’s hard for me, but it’s one that I get stronger at sharing as time goes on. 

We’ve been together since I was 20 - almost 13 years. We moved in together 5 months after we started dating, got our two sweet puppies a few months after that, bought a house a few years after that, but then took 8 years to get married. Lots of me wanting to get married, lots of Chris saying he wasn’t ready. Lots of me saying I’m leaving, lots of him begging me to stay. There was so much joy in those years too, but they were filled with a lot of insecurity. We got married almost 5 years ago, and a few months later I got pregnant with Grey. We were so. freaking. excited. Chris is a caregiver by nature, and made sure I was eating well, taking naps, getting me anything I needed, and just being a rockstar hubby and daddy. And then it happened. 6 months pregnant, and I get a bomb dropped on my life. Lots of tears. At six months pregnant, my husband left our house and I got a lawyer. It sucked. Being pregnant and single and realizing you have to give birth without your partner SUCKS. I lost 10 pounds in a week, was miserable, and missed my husband. I had my baby shower while separated from him, and nearly no one knew. It was the hardest time of my life. I felt like I was balancing on a seesaw and didn’t know which way to let it land. Neither path seemed like the right one. 

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At the time I remember reading a quote from an author, Glennon Doyle Melton. She wrote “Carry On, Warrior” and it just about changed my life. 

It read, "The next right thing, one thing at a time, will bring you all the way home."

I realized I just needed to stop thinking about all the what if’s and just do one right thing. Just one. And then do the next right thing. One day at a time. 

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Eventually, he moved back in. I didn’t want to do parenthood without him. I just didn’t. I knew he’d be the best dad ever. I wanted to experience that with him. Grey’s birth was perfection. Grey is perfection. He was my tiny little light in so many dark days. He is special to me in so many more ways, because of what we went through together. I carried him in my belly, but he literally carried me through. 

Rebuilding your marriage is hard. Like really hard. On the daily, even 4 years later. Most days now, I don’t even think about that dark time. We are happy. We have been happy for a long time. My husband is kind, and sweet, and strong, and giving. He is not perfect, but he is kind and has a bigger heart and more gentle soul than most. He supports me always, is my biggest cheerleader, and always agrees to my crazy “yeses.” He says yes to foster care. He says yes to our family. He lets me decorate our house however I want. (HOLLAAAAA) He takes care of me when I am pregnant, and supports any birth I want to have. He takes care of me after I have our babies. He wakes up to feed our babies, he changes diapers, he lets me sleep. He walks our dogs and cleans our house. He doesn’t get TOO mad when I am snappy and controlling and bitchy. He sees me at my worst and doesn’t go running for the hills. (I mean sometimes he probably wants to - but he doesn’t.) There are a million more reasons I want to do life with him. He isn’t perfect. Neither am I. I still struggle with fear and anger. I pick fights over nothing, except that “nothing” is really leftover heartache and hurt that I forget is still in me. 

It is not perfect. We are not perfect. He is not perfect. and I am sure as shit not perfect. But, we love each other and our family. We choose each other every day. We choose our marriage every day, and it’s so so worth it.

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CONFESSION.

Confession. I own a business. A network marketing business. Most people say to me when they hear that  “Isn’t that a Multi-Level Marketing business and a PYRAMID SCHEME?!!!?!?) 

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No guys. Pyramid schemes? Those are illegal. ✌🏻 

What is network marketing? Instead of a company paying MILLIONS OF DOLLARS in marketing to advertise on billboards, on TV, in ads, paying for space on store shelves (that ain’t cheap friends) - they pay the people who love and adore and use their products.  Why does that freak some people out?  No idea.  I tell my friends when I love a restaurant. A fave dress brand (Gunny & Sack FO LIFE), smoothies (Daily Harvest!), Diapers (Parasol!), coffeemakers (I forget the name but remind me to go look because this shit will change your liffeeee), water filters, vacay spots, WHATEVER. All the things. We tell our friends when we love something alllll the time. This is no different.  

Do you think “Oh, well, you’re just telling me you like these oils because you get paid.” - Okay, if that is what you think of your friends and their integrity - yikes. If you think that about me, looks like we aren’t such good friends after all, anddddd you should probably unfollow me if you think that about my character. 🤷🏻‍♀️ That’s a bit insulting, don’t ya think? ❤️ 

 

I talk about Young Living like I talk about anything I love because just that - I LOVE IT. They have changed my life, and my friend’s lives, in so many more ways than I can count.  

 

But friend, it’s so much more than people loving and using and buying these life-giving products (In fact, just my small business alone - Modern Essentials -  brings in over 18 million dollars in sales a year. YEAH. I told you we love them.)

 

We’ve helped someone going through a very trying and difficult time in their life support their emotions. 

 

I’ve celebrated with mamas who were finally able to get pregnant after years of trying.

 

I’ve cried with friends who found their babies through adoption and foster care, and rejoiced with them as they brought them home to their forever family. 

 

I’ve SOBBED with gratefulness as a friend began the process to donate her kidney to another friend who desperately needs it. (This is a story for another day. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

 

I have brought joy to moms who were finally able to sleep because some oils helped settle their babes. 

 

I have celebrated with friends who were able to quit their jobs that made them miserable and stressed.

 

I have cheered and jumped up and down and watched friends bring their husbands home from the corporate rat race that took them away from their families for hours upon hours upon hours. No more living for the weekends. (My husband being of them. <3) And I am dreaming every day of this for one particular friend. Soon. <3 

 

I have been able to empower women and men who have believed a lie that the only way to make money is to be unhappy in a job, work tons of hours, feel guilty to take a vacation or sick day, live for the evenings and weekends, and retire at age 63 - if you’re lucky. 

 

I have helped empower families to lead themselves HEALTH AND WELLNESS.  Prevention and staying well is the key, loves. Focus on the prevention. Heal the body from the inside out. 

 

I have helped mamas stay home with their babies. I’ve seen friends do this more comfortably financially than they were before as nurses, doctors, lawyers, teachers, and heads of companies. 

 

I have watched families take their control back. Take their homes back. Open their eyes, wake the eff up, and realize they deserve better, their families deserve better, and that THEY CAN DO THIS.  They are smart, and confident, and capable.

 

I watch people give more than they ever thought possible.  Their time, their money, all without the limitations they thought they had.  This world needs good people.  Good people who use their time and money to heal the world.  Good people doing good things with their money. 

 

I see the community we’ve grown from a single box of oils - 28,000 families strong - and it still gives me chills and makes me cry tears of gratitude.  I’ve seen the friendships formed, the support given, the people you can’t believe you didn’t know were missing from your life. 

 

I teach people to dream really big freaking dreams.  Dreams that SCARE you. I teach people to dream some more, because you just keep finding them coming true.

 

We work. Hard. And with passion and drive and we see the light at the end of the tunnel and go for it. It’s work, but the best kind of work - loving on others, caring for others, cheering them on, lifting them up. Freedom is work every drop of the hard work. EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT. 

 

So YUP. I run a network marketing business. It’s the best. Ever.

 

(because I talk business, i have to include this, and you should take a peek, because you’ll probably pee a little.

Young Living Income Disclosure Statement

For reference, we are Royal Crown Diamond, and we have 1,300 Stars, 391 Senior Stars, 232 Executives, 77 Silvers, 26 Golds, 5 Platinums, and 4 Diamonds. On our team alone. And out of 28,000 families just using and loving their oils, about 10% of them run a Young Living business.  Pretty freaking sweet when you look at those numbers. <3 You think only a few people can make money doing this? NO. Liessssss. There is room at the table for everyone. We will save you a seat.)